So I should mention I joined Vegan MoFo this year right after beginning this blog, because I felt it would be a good way to keep me accountable with regards to updating regularly. To that end, so far I'm right 'cause here I am. I did miss a couple days as I was swamped with work and sick as a dog on top of it. Side note: When you have some kind of awful ear/sinusy infection and you're just starting to get better don't go drink a ton of alcohol and eat a ton of sugar (*cough*homemade candy corn*cough*) because it will set the healing process back a bit! This sounds like the kind of lesson I maybe should've already known, but sometimes I test my body. And then my body schools me. That said, I'm feeling much better today so here we go.
I wanted to talk about my experience becoming vegan. Because I wasn't raised vegan, I don't really even remember knowing anyone who was vegetarian or vegan until my early 20's. Of course I knew about veganism but it was this esoteric thing that other more zen, yogi, disciplined people were. Not me. I was a full on omnivore and more than that, I really didn't think it would be possible for me to ever be vegetarian, much less vegan. I just thought it would be far too difficult, I'd eaten meat my whole life, what would I eat, I would miss things too much, and on and on.
When I think back on that, I actually find the 'I'd miss things' reason the most ironic. Not just because since becoming vegan I've realized there's a billion and one things to eat and delicious veg versions of practically anything I could miss, but because at the time I was thinking that, I had a horrible relationship with food. I mean it was ridiculous. I'd struggled with my weight since puberty and as I got older, gone to some unhealthy places with my desire to be 'skinny'. It got to the point that my entire relationship with food was one of guilt and I felt badly about myself every time I ate, meat or not. Like I said, ridiculous. And also extremely hard to break out of.
But I knew I had to. Not only because I felt like crap mentally but I started feeling the dis-ease of my body more and more often, I was getting sick every couple months like clockwork, I had raging insomnia, and no energy ever. Plus, my grandpa died of cancer and before that he had diabetes, as does my aunt. These were very real concerns for me and I knew I couldn't go on as unhealthily as I was. So I started baby-stepping my way toward healthier eating habits. It wasn't as easy as that sentence makes it sound but it was kinda like a snowball rolling down a mountain and it did start to build up momentum. I started trying out healthier, less extreme diets; eating lots of veges, fruits, grains, no dairy, just fish and chicken breast, and it was better, but not quite it. I still didn't think the answer, for me anyway, was veganism (too hard!) but I was definitely still looking for one.
I also would backtrack into my unhealthy ways now and then (I need my sweet tooth pulled or something!) so when I picked up the book "Breaking the Food Seduction" by Dr. Neil Barnard it seemed like just the thing for me. You may or may not be familiar with it but I recommend it for anyone veg or not. Among other great info, it's a way to re-set your body to a clean place and get rid of any of the addictions you may have to sugar, salt, dairy, etc. And you re-set by eating very cleanly and close to the earth for three weeks. And oh yeah, vegan. I think I found this book at the perfect time in my life because it was certainly the most open to a vegan diet I'd ever been. My mom and I were always really homeopathic and saw an amazing chiropractor who years before told us to stop drinking milk, so we were drinking rice milk. To stop eating butter, so we were already using Earth Balance (my favorite!). And we'd been supplementing some of our meat with soy products (e.g. we never got real hot dogs anymore, we'd get vege dogs) and getting tofu regularly, which I loved. So at the time it felt like it'd be less of a leap and I thought I could totally do it for three weeks. And I did! Really easily. Startlingly easily.
But the real surprise is how changed I felt after three weeks. For context I should say, I'm a skeptic. I don't ever believe something is going to work for me just because someone says it will, doctor or no. I have to be convinced. And boy was I. In three weeks I lost 15lbs without even trying. I had more energy than I'd felt in years. I felt cleaner, clearer, and more comfortable in my skin than I'd felt in as long as I could remember. It was insane to me. And amazing. And at the end of three weeks I had no desire to go off the vegan diet. At this time, I still didn't think this was a lifelong change I was making (what can I say, I'm stubborn) but I did keep on it for three more weeks till Thanksgiving. This was Nov '08. I'd been vegan for six weeks but I thought that was it, in my 26yrs I hadn't had a Thanksgiving without turkey and I couldn't start now. So I made a turkey and a full holiday meal for me and my mom as I'd done for years and sat down thinking 'the minute I put this in my mouth it's going to be choirs of angels singing and I'm not ever going to be able to go without meat again'. Hah. Yeah, no.
The first bite was...ok? Nothing special. (And I'm a good cook!) Certainly nothing I felt I couldn't do without. But I stubbornly ate my whole serving and then...oh my God. It was like rocks in my stomach! It hurt like actual rocks in my stomach. I was stunned. And scared for a minute because I hadn't actually planned to be a vegan forever! Haha. Could I not eat meat now? My grandma's meatloaf? I was momentarily distraught. And then I realized how amazing I'd felt the past six weeks and decided I could keep at that for a while...see how it went. That was the last time I ate turkey. That Christmas I made a lentil loaf and vegan sides and while it felt new and weird and a little scary, it was also exciting.
Now it's two years later, and where I fell into veganism accidentally for health reasons, in that time it has become important to me for ecological and animal rights reasons as well. I won't lie, in those two years, I've had a few slip ups; whether it was something that contained dairy, usually a bread product, or that I had a hard time letting go of my favorite food (before veganism) sushi. That's the one 'meat' I've had a few times, and I know some vegans would say, well then you weren't really vegan, but I'm less hard on myself about those slip ups now then I was at the time because a. it was definitely a process changing from a lifestyle I'd lived for 26yrs into a completely different one and b. I learned each time from those slip ups, whether it was how I felt physically or mentally, which I think can only be a good thing, and that's brought me to
c. Where I am now. Which is, a place where I'm comfortable and committed to being fully vegan 100% and it feels amazing. I'm so much healthier. I feel better in my skin. I ran a frickin' half marathon in Sept! Almost died, but you know, completed it. :) Sure, I still wrestle with some body issues now and then, who doesn't? But my relationship with food, and with myself, is light years better. Now I feel good when I eat, like I'm nourishing myself. That's a priceless feeling.
Okay, it's not so nourishing when it's candy corn and beer. But you gotta have fun too!
(Just not when you're already sick.)
